So, I got married three weeks ago. And, as every bride knows, with weddings go giant to do lists. Even the simplest wedding has to be planned as if it were a foreign invasion or something, with spreadsheets and lists and drawings (and then your mother starts making spreadsheets to keep track of the information that you’ve told her, and then you’re really in trouble). Ok, so if you elope you might not need the lists. But still. Anyway, now that the wedding’s done with, I am ready to move on with the rest of my life (hence, the blog title).
In the whole wedding planning process, I was introduced to the most fabulous blog ever, www.apracticalwedding.com , which I read daily during the wedding planning process as a sort of “bridal devotional” thing. I credit that blog with my mental health, because wedding planning seriously effs with you, regardless of how low-key, zen filled, and laid back you try to be. Anyway, in that blog Meg talked about something called a “life list” - basically, it’s a big list of your hopes and dreams for the future of your life. In poking around the Internet, it seems that a lot of women’s lists include cool things like “see the world” or “learn to knit” but also, they include big huge things like “write a book” or “go to graduate school” or “become a domestic violence counselor” - things like that, things that could change the world.
I read all that stuff in the last weeks of planning the wedding, and sort of filed it away for “stuff to do after the wedding” But. I also started my own list. Was this a fear response? Was I thinking that without the giant-ass wedding to do list I would flounder after the wedding and turn into a ball of mush? I don’t think so. The reality is that two weeks after I married, I also turned 30. Which, you know, is kind of a milestone. Because of a lot of “stuff” in my life (which I’m sure you’ll read about on this blog), I feel like my 20s were about rest and healing and learning to care for myself. I think my 30s need to be about crafting the life I want for myself and my family.
So, I started this blog so that I have a place to be accountable to myself for my list. And also, to have a place where I can talk about the process of what I’m doing - because sometimes, when I’m in the midst of working on one goal, I think or hear or read about something that will help towards another goal, and I need a place to write it down. So here we are.
And, without further ado, my list:
Life List
1. Run a 5k without stopping
2. Start blogging; see if I like it
3. Have two kids
4. Have a pet rabbit and volunteer at a rabbit rescue group
5. Write a vampire novel
6. Figure out a way to tell my anti-fundamentalist story without hurting any of D.C.’s kids
7. Find a job I love
8. Make $75,000/year at said job
9. Stop feeling guilty over spending money on clothes and shoes
10. Go to Scotland and Ireland
11. Go to London and see a Shakespeare play at the Globe Theater
12. Work on a house for Habitat for Humanity
13. Dinner at the French Laundry (with no guilt!!!)
14. Make my own wine
15. Make Jam
16. Write about vampires, Eastern Europe, and Christianity
17. Play Grieg’s Holberg Suite on the piano
18. Go to a social event and make small talk without anxiety
19. Go to Istanbul, Greece, and Armenia
20. Go to France and Italy
21. Take Dave to Georgia for Homecoming Sunday
22. Visit New York City
23. Bake and decorate a wedding cake
24. Make two friends outside of my family
25. Have boudoir pics taken regardless of my weight
26. Learn to open a bottle of champagne gracefully and without fear
27. Do volunteer work for a veterans’ organization
28. Do volunteer work for a women’s shelter/ anti domestic violence organization
29. Do ballet barre exercises in pointe shoes (safely, with skill, without breaking my toes, etc)
30. Do something cool with yoga (teach? go to class every week? Hm.)
31. See original Rembrandt paintings (Hermitage? Louvre? Wherever they are)
32. Adopt a Basset Hound and a Welsh Corgi
33. Come up with my own, top secret Madeline recipe
34. Take a class at the CIA in Napa
35. Take singing lessons
36. Learn and remember the rules to Baseball and Football (
37. Write a wedding graduate post for APW (doesn’t have to be published, I just have to write it and submit it)
38. Learn to size and fit and finish my knitted sweaters so that I’ll actually wear them
39. Make peace with my weight
40. Quit binge eating
41. Read all of Julia Child’s cookbooks (and non-cookbooks, if she wrote them) and try the interesting sounding recipes. Become proficient at five of them.
42. Open an combo yarn shop/tea shop/pastry shop/book shop/yoga studio/art gallery/indie wedding space
43. Learn to like pictures of myself
44. Start an etsy shop with cool stuff I make
45. Teach three people to knit
46. Go on some kind of cool retreat weekend - sock summit, mighty summit, something like that
47. Learn Massage
48. Read all the works of Flannery O’Connor
49. Figure out a way to be more actively pro-choice and pro-gay rights/equal marriage (not just voting and giving money)
50. Make regular donations to charities - either money (for things like habitat for humanity, red cross, planned parenthood, etc) or food to a local food bank
51. Only buy bras that actually fit me, regardless of cost. Learn to take care of them properly and replace them when necessary (without guilt)
52. Learn how to change a tire so I can be a badass who changes her own tires
53. Learn enough about my car that I don’t have to call husband or dad for explanation after every trip to the mechanic
54. Learn how to work a lawn mower
55. Make my own cheese and yogurt
56. Read/listen to 3,000 books
57. Grow some tomatoes without killing them. If I can do that, maybe branch out to other plants
58. Become more knowledgeable about wine making and process, varietals, etc - also learn to taste more proficiently.
59. Learn a second language - not sure which one, though.
60. Learn more about intuitive eating, and practice it in my daily life
61. Do charity knitting (afghans for afghans, other places)
62. Read every book by Charles Dickens
63. Find a good tailor to hem pants, take in shirts, etc so my clothes fit better
64. Sew a quilt
65. Make sourdough bread from starter I caught and grew myself (do we even have wild yeast in the air in my suburban Northern CA town??)
66. Do a sheep -to- sweater type thing, where I get a fleece, wash it, dye it, spin it, and then knit it into a sweater (maybe a baby sweater, depending on the success of the project)
67. Develop a personal style (for clothing)
68. Build a cozy combo library/family room/craft studio thing where I can work on projects but still hang out with the family
69. Meet President and Mrs. Obama
70. Do yoga every morning before work for 30 days
71. Learn more science so that NPR’s Science Friday makes sense (this sounds awful, but my science education was pitiful, and all I remember from it was “evolution is bad” - so, clearly I need help here.)
72. Make my own baklava, with a traditional recipe, including making my own phyllo dough
73. Make my own pickles
74. Sing O Magnum Mysterium with a chorus
75. Knit a fair isle, stranded sweater and make it with steeks!!
In the whole wedding planning process, I was introduced to the most fabulous blog ever, www.apracticalwedding.com , which I read daily during the wedding planning process as a sort of “bridal devotional” thing. I credit that blog with my mental health, because wedding planning seriously effs with you, regardless of how low-key, zen filled, and laid back you try to be. Anyway, in that blog Meg talked about something called a “life list” - basically, it’s a big list of your hopes and dreams for the future of your life. In poking around the Internet, it seems that a lot of women’s lists include cool things like “see the world” or “learn to knit” but also, they include big huge things like “write a book” or “go to graduate school” or “become a domestic violence counselor” - things like that, things that could change the world.
I read all that stuff in the last weeks of planning the wedding, and sort of filed it away for “stuff to do after the wedding” But. I also started my own list. Was this a fear response? Was I thinking that without the giant-ass wedding to do list I would flounder after the wedding and turn into a ball of mush? I don’t think so. The reality is that two weeks after I married, I also turned 30. Which, you know, is kind of a milestone. Because of a lot of “stuff” in my life (which I’m sure you’ll read about on this blog), I feel like my 20s were about rest and healing and learning to care for myself. I think my 30s need to be about crafting the life I want for myself and my family.
So, I started this blog so that I have a place to be accountable to myself for my list. And also, to have a place where I can talk about the process of what I’m doing - because sometimes, when I’m in the midst of working on one goal, I think or hear or read about something that will help towards another goal, and I need a place to write it down. So here we are.
And, without further ado, my list:
Life List
1. Run a 5k without stopping
2. Start blogging; see if I like it
3. Have two kids
4. Have a pet rabbit and volunteer at a rabbit rescue group
5. Write a vampire novel
6. Figure out a way to tell my anti-fundamentalist story without hurting any of D.C.’s kids
7. Find a job I love
8. Make $75,000/year at said job
9. Stop feeling guilty over spending money on clothes and shoes
10. Go to Scotland and Ireland
11. Go to London and see a Shakespeare play at the Globe Theater
12. Work on a house for Habitat for Humanity
13. Dinner at the French Laundry (with no guilt!!!)
14. Make my own wine
15. Make Jam
16. Write about vampires, Eastern Europe, and Christianity
17. Play Grieg’s Holberg Suite on the piano
18. Go to a social event and make small talk without anxiety
19. Go to Istanbul, Greece, and Armenia
20. Go to France and Italy
21. Take Dave to Georgia for Homecoming Sunday
22. Visit New York City
23. Bake and decorate a wedding cake
24. Make two friends outside of my family
25. Have boudoir pics taken regardless of my weight
26. Learn to open a bottle of champagne gracefully and without fear
27. Do volunteer work for a veterans’ organization
28. Do volunteer work for a women’s shelter/ anti domestic violence organization
29. Do ballet barre exercises in pointe shoes (safely, with skill, without breaking my toes, etc)
30. Do something cool with yoga (teach? go to class every week? Hm.)
31. See original Rembrandt paintings (Hermitage? Louvre? Wherever they are)
32. Adopt a Basset Hound and a Welsh Corgi
33. Come up with my own, top secret Madeline recipe
34. Take a class at the CIA in Napa
35. Take singing lessons
36. Learn and remember the rules to Baseball and Football (
37. Write a wedding graduate post for APW (doesn’t have to be published, I just have to write it and submit it)
38. Learn to size and fit and finish my knitted sweaters so that I’ll actually wear them
39. Make peace with my weight
40. Quit binge eating
41. Read all of Julia Child’s cookbooks (and non-cookbooks, if she wrote them) and try the interesting sounding recipes. Become proficient at five of them.
42. Open an combo yarn shop/tea shop/pastry shop/book shop/yoga studio/art gallery/indie wedding space
43. Learn to like pictures of myself
44. Start an etsy shop with cool stuff I make
45. Teach three people to knit
46. Go on some kind of cool retreat weekend - sock summit, mighty summit, something like that
47. Learn Massage
48. Read all the works of Flannery O’Connor
49. Figure out a way to be more actively pro-choice and pro-gay rights/equal marriage (not just voting and giving money)
50. Make regular donations to charities - either money (for things like habitat for humanity, red cross, planned parenthood, etc) or food to a local food bank
51. Only buy bras that actually fit me, regardless of cost. Learn to take care of them properly and replace them when necessary (without guilt)
52. Learn how to change a tire so I can be a badass who changes her own tires
53. Learn enough about my car that I don’t have to call husband or dad for explanation after every trip to the mechanic
54. Learn how to work a lawn mower
55. Make my own cheese and yogurt
56. Read/listen to 3,000 books
57. Grow some tomatoes without killing them. If I can do that, maybe branch out to other plants
58. Become more knowledgeable about wine making and process, varietals, etc - also learn to taste more proficiently.
59. Learn a second language - not sure which one, though.
60. Learn more about intuitive eating, and practice it in my daily life
61. Do charity knitting (afghans for afghans, other places)
62. Read every book by Charles Dickens
63. Find a good tailor to hem pants, take in shirts, etc so my clothes fit better
64. Sew a quilt
65. Make sourdough bread from starter I caught and grew myself (do we even have wild yeast in the air in my suburban Northern CA town??)
66. Do a sheep -to- sweater type thing, where I get a fleece, wash it, dye it, spin it, and then knit it into a sweater (maybe a baby sweater, depending on the success of the project)
67. Develop a personal style (for clothing)
68. Build a cozy combo library/family room/craft studio thing where I can work on projects but still hang out with the family
69. Meet President and Mrs. Obama
70. Do yoga every morning before work for 30 days
71. Learn more science so that NPR’s Science Friday makes sense (this sounds awful, but my science education was pitiful, and all I remember from it was “evolution is bad” - so, clearly I need help here.)
72. Make my own baklava, with a traditional recipe, including making my own phyllo dough
73. Make my own pickles
74. Sing O Magnum Mysterium with a chorus
75. Knit a fair isle, stranded sweater and make it with steeks!!
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