Friday, November 12, 2010

Trying to Get it All Done

I was sick this week with a pretty bad cold, which was Not Fun. I’m getting better about taking care of myself when sick, but I still struggle with feeling guilty because I’m not doing ‘enough’ whatever that happens to be. That’s actually something I deal with in my regular life, come to think of it, not just my 'sick' life. Somehow I feel like I should always be active, always doing something, always being productive. Never mind that I work 8 hours a day and have a house to take care of – I’m always (mentally) beating myself up for not exercising more, not keeping the house spotless, not getting 8 hours of sleep a night. And then, of course, there’s that list of life goals that I have that I need to work on.

It seems that no matter how hard I try, something always falls to the wayside. Lately it’s been exercise (that’s partly because of being sick, too), but it could be the house falling apart or feeling exhausted from not enough sleep. Dave and I are trying to work out the chore thing so it’s a little more equitable which will help, but I still feel behind, no matter what I do.

I’ve also discovered that I get super grouchy when I don’t have enough relaxation time. If I go to work, come home, cook dinner, do chores and then go to bed, I get seriously resentful of my time. I need at least a bit of time during the day to knit or to read or to write a bit, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s just trying to squeeze it all in that is the difficulty. And I don’t even have kids or pets!

I’ve been thinking that possibly, instead of trying to do more, I should try to do less. Instead of stressing myself out with a 10 item to do list every night when I get home from work, maybe I need to have a 2 item list. At least those 2 items would get done, rather than 10 items half done or done sloppily. It’s worth a shot, anyway.

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